The Number 1 Basic Need of a Man is : SEX. But you are not going to receive it willingly if you don't love the wife Christ loves the church!
Discern what you read here. The article is for sharing. Doesn't make you a great husband - You have to decide (Make Your Choice!)
Roles of Wife - CLICK
Roles of Husband
What is the role of the husband in marriage? Many ideas abound from extremely passive to absolute dictator. With humanistic attacks on marriage and the family, the role of the husband has been clouded and confused. If you add to this common misunderstandings of Scriptural authority and Biblical principles, it is amazing the amount of pressure that is placed on men.If marriages and families are going to be healthy we must understand and apply God's requirements for all family members. So what are God's requirements for husbands? [Note: there are many "roles" of a man but this report focuses on the role of a man as husband.]
God has designed the world around a system of authority. Everyone is under someone's authority. Ultimately, all authority is delegated authority under God. The person who exercises authority [or refuses to do so] is responsible to God. Misuse of authority in any sphere - government, family, church, etc - leads to the judgment of God for misrepresenting the character of God.
The authority structure, as it relates to the family, places the husband and wife as a team much like the President and the Vice President. They should work together to build a life and the Kingdom of God by solving problems in a Biblical way. However, in cases where agreement cannot be reached, someone must have the authority to make the final decision. God has placed that authority in the husband.
"For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body." Eph. 5:23
Many times we sinfully stop at the first phrase. We stress that the husband is the head of the wife while ignoring the rest of the sentence. The husband is to be the head of the wife in the same way that Christ is the head of the Church and is its Saviour.
How is Christ the head of the Church? He is the Leader of the Church, but all His decisions are made for the benefit of the Church. He makes NO decisions from selfish motives. Sometimes He makes hard decisions, but always for the ultimate benefit of the Church. In fact, His love for the Church went so far as the giving up of His body to torture and death for her.
In the same way, the husband may need to make tough decisions, but they are to always be for the benefit of his wife and children. He is to always place their needs and desires above his own. As a human being, the husband deals with his own sinful nature and needs the counsel of his wife on reaching the best decisions. God placed them together as a team. However, when the time for a decision comes, he is the one who stands responsible before God for making it...and for its consequences. It is a heavy responsibility, not a power trip.
The husband cannot be the saviour of his wife in the same way that Christ is the Saviour of the church. Only Christ's Blood can bring forgiveness of sin. He is; nevertheless, to lead his wife in the ways of God. He is to study and know the Word of God and develop his own relationship with God so he can lead in Godly ways. And just as Christ gave His life for the Church, the husband must be willing to sacrifice his physical life if necessary to save the life of his wife. Part of this also includes, as we have written elsewhere, making sure his wife is properly cared for should he die before she does. It should be obvious from the above that the husband is not an independent authority. He only has legitimate authority as he is submitted to the authority of Christ. He does not make decisions or take actions based on his own feelings, desires, or wisdom. He must study and know the Word of God, be submitted to it, and apply it in love.
So, husbands, you are the managers under God of your home. You are responsible before God for everything that goes on in it. If there isn't enough love [or anything else] in the home, don't complain, don't blame your wife. It's your fault...and your responsibility to take charge and fix it with Godly solutions.
Husbands, you cannot do this on your own. It will break you. You need the power of the Holy Spirit...and you need an assistant. God, in His wisdom, provided you with a lovely and competent assistant.
"And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof; And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man. And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man." Gen. 2:21-23
This is one reason why the husband/wife relationship is the most important human relationship. It is more important than the parent/child relationship. It is more important than the husband's or wife's relationship with their own parents. Certainly, it is vastly more important that relationships with friends outside the home. The husband/wife relationship is the priority relationship. Only our relationship with God is more important.
"Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh." Gen. 2:24
The husband is to take time to understand and minister to his wife. This is especially important in the first year of marriage when so much change and adjustment is taking place [Deut. 24:5, Col. 3:19]. Take time out from the business of life to enjoy your wife. Dating does not stop when you get married! Continue to have fun together [Ecc. 9:9].
In line with this, the husband is to be an encourager. It is so tempting to criticize, complain, and make hurting comments. That is not how Christ treats His Church. He treasures it. A husband should treasure his wife. He should take every opportunity to build her up and encourage her. He should be her biggest promoter and should take Godly pride when she is successful in any area of life.
"Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her." Pr. 31:28
Another role of the husband is to be his wife's lover. A husband should met his wife's sexual needs. Sex is to be an act of giving, it is being more concerned about fulfilling the needs of the wife than receiving fulfillment. The husband must understand that his wife views sex differently and different things minister to her needs. He must be gentle and kind. He must not be too proud to ask his wife what meets her desires. Researching with Christian, tasteful but detailed books [like Act of Marriage or Intended for Pleasure] is recommended. Note: Trying to use X-rated movies or other pornographic material to improve the sexually relationship is sinful and extremely harmful to the relationship.
"And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed." Gen. 2:25
"The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife." 1 Cor. 7:4
This report is not intended to bring condemnation but to challenge us. If our relationship is less than it should be, we need to take responsibility, find the Biblical solutions, and then apply them. We may need to humbly seek the forgiveness of our wife for having failed her. Real leaders are humble people. Then we prove the sincerity of our repentance by changing to become Godly husbands. May God help us for with Him all things are possible but without Him failure is inevitable.
What if a man's wife does not follow his leadership? Should he try to force her to submit? How does Christdeal with His Church when it doesn't submit to Him? Jesus continues to lead. He does not compromise Godly principles to gain cooperation. He continues to love and prove for His Church. His love is shown in His faithfulness and care even when His Church does not deserve it. He does not use violence or manipulation to attempt to force or trick His Church into obedience. Certainly it is a difficult position to be in, but study the actions of Christ with His Church for the principles of how to operate.
Most wives will not have a problem with submission if they know their husbands are genuinely following God and doing their best for their wives and families. Only if the wife is committing a Biblical divorce offense does that become an option. No husband is required to remain married to a woman who deliberately pursues a sinful life-style.
Finally, is the role of the husband different for Christians and non-Christians? No, God's standards in every area of life are the same for His entire human creation. As sinful creatures we will always fall below the perfect standard set by Christ; however, empowered by the Holy Spirit, it should be our goal. We should never be satisfied with less than the best. It is a shame of Christian men that many non-Christians show more love for their wives than they do.
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