The Ten Axioms of Choice Theory	Basic Needs
1 The only person whose behavior we can control is our own. 2 All we can give another person is information. 3 All long-lasting psychological problems are relationship problems. 4 The problem relationship is always part of our present life. 5 What happened in the past has everything to do with what we are today, but we can only satisfy our basic needs right now and plan to continue satisfying them in the future. 6 We can only satisfy our needs by satisfying the pictures in our Quality World. 7 All we do is behave. 8 All behavior is Total Behavior and is made up of four components: acting, thinking, feeling and physiology. 9 All Total Behavior is chosen, but we only have direct control over the acting and thinking components. We can only control our feeling and physiology indirectly through how we choose to act and think. 10 All Total Behavior is designated by verbs and named by the part that is the most recognizable.	All individuals are driven by genetically transmitted needs that serve as instructions for attempting to live their lives. The needs are equally important, and all must be reasonably satisfied if individuals are to fulfill their biological destiny. These basic needs are: (a) the need to survive, (b) the need to belong, (c) the need to gain power, (d) the need to be free, and (e) the need to have fun. The individual has no choice but to feel pain when a need is frustrated and pleasure when it is satisfied. When any need goes unsatisfied, there is a continual urge to behave. This urge is as much a part of human genetic instructions as is eye color. Instructions related to survival - such as hunger, thirst, and sexual desire - are relatively distinct. Individuals quickly learn that the particular discomfort is attached to this need, and it is plain what they must do to satisfy the survival instructions. The nonsurvival, or psychological, needs are challenging because it is often less clear what an individual must do to satisfy them. Psychological needs, like biological needs, have their source in the genes, even though they are much less tangible and the behaviors that fulfill them are more complex than the physical behaviors used to fulfill the survival needs. Glasser (1984) holds that we are essentially biological beings, and the fact that we follow some of our genetic instructions psychologically rather than physically makes neither the instructions less urgent nor the source less biological. The ways in which we fulfill psychological needs can be summarized as follows: 1. We fulfill the need to belong by loving, sharing, and cooperating with others. 2. We fulfill the need for power by achieving, accomplishing, and being recognized and respected. 3. We fulfill the need for freedom by making choices in our lives. 4. We fulfill the need for fun by laughing and playing. Even though individuals may not be fully aware of their basic needs, they learn that there are some general circumstances that strongly relate to the way they feel. For example, people behave lovingly with their parents because it feels good; they realize that when people pay attention to their words or actions they feel powerful; by making choices they feel the importance of freedom; and through laughter they learn about fun. Even though human needs are essentially the same for everyone, the behaviors through which individuals choose to satisfy those needs may be quite different. Beginning at birth, individuals have unique experiences that feel either pleasurable or painful. Through these experiences, individuals learn how to satisfy their needs. Because individuals have different experiences, the things they learn to do to satisfy their needs will be different as well. Each individual has memories of need-fulfilling behaviors specific to his or her unique life experiences. These pleasurable memories constitute the individual's quality world and become the most important part of the person's life. For most people, this quality world is composed of pictures (or, more accurately, perceptions) representing what they have most enjoyed in life. These perceptions become the standard for behavioral choices. Unlike the basic survival needs, which are the same for everyone, the perceptions in each person's quality world are very specific and completely individual. Individuals choose to behave in different ways to fulfill their needs because their quality worlds are different. To be in effective control of one's life means integrating this knowledge into the way one deals with others.
TOTAL BEHAVIOUR To satisfy the basic needs, a person must behave. This means acting, thinking, feeling, and involving the body, all of which are components of the total behavior generated in the effort to get what is wanted. Whenever there is a discrepancy between what one wants and what one has, the internal behavioral system is activated. The motivation is always to behave, not only for present needs but, after those are satisfied, for future needs. People innately reject being controlled by others because they are capable of fulfilling only their own needs. Loss of control to another is dysfunctional and runs counter to the fulfillment of needs. To satisfy needs, people must be able to sense what is going on both around them and within them, and then be able to act on that information. When we sense a discrepancy between what we have and what we want, we behave by acting upon the world and upon ourselves as a part of the world. If we examine this behavior, it may seem to be composed of four different behaviors, but these are actually four components of what is always a total behavior. These four components, which always occur synchronously, are as follows: 1. Doing (e.g., walking, talking) 2. Thinking (e.g., reasoning, fantasizing) 3. Feeling (e.g., angering, depressing) 4. Physiology (e.g., sweating, headaching) The feeling component of behavior is typically the most obvious. However, the more a person can recognize that feelings are just one component of total behavior, the more the person will be in control of his or her life. Glasser (1984) explains that, as individuals learn Choice Theory, they stop using nouns (like depression) that describe only the feeling component of total behavior and begin to use verbs that more accurately describe total behavior. Thus, verbs like depressing, anxietying, and headaching replace nouns like depression, anxiety, and headache. The value in learning about total behavior is that it enables people to choose behaviors to satisfy their needs more effectively. Glasser (1984) illustrates total behavior by relating how he might deal with a frustrating situation - failure to pass an important examination: When I went into the test, the dominant picture in my head was of passing, but now all my senses are busy informing me of the bad news thatI flunked. Because I still want to pass, I will begin to generate some mostly sensible (at least to me) behaviors that I believe will help me to regain control of this unsatisfactory situation. In this case, what makes immediate sense to me to do is to go home, sit in my chair, drink a few beers, and avoid my classmates, most of whom I believe passed the examination. What I may think is sensible is to condemn myself for not studying hard enough, wish that I had passed, wonder what to do now, and hope it was all a mistake - a whole series of thoughts that are my immediate best attempts to both deal with and rationalize what happened. I will also generate a variety of feelings that also make good sense to me right now. Probably I'll be depressed, irritated, somewhat resentful, despondent, anxious, tense, and fearful - a whole series of emotions that seem to me appropriate to this failure. I also may be "suffering" from a headache or diarrhea, which added to what I am doing, thinking, and feeling, comprises my total behavior in this situation. (pp. 47-48, Control Theory, by William Glasser, MD) In most situations, people are more tuned in to their feelings than their actions, thoughts, or physiology. It is unlikely that an individual would mention all the components described in this passage if asked how he or she was doing after failing an examination; most likely the person would talk about the feeling component - being upset or depressed about the situation. When people are asked to talk about a complex situation, they tend to describe the most obvious or recognizable factor. Glasser (1984) says that most people are much more aware of one component of behavior than of others and, hence, tend to view it as a discrete behavior, not as part of a total behavior. By recognizing that the feeling component is just one of four that make up total behavior, people can be more in control of their lives. When people begin to think in terms of total behaviors, they can see that they choose these behaviors and have the option to change them. The most direct way to change a total behavior is to change the behavior's doing and thinking components. We have almost total control over the doing component of behavior and some control over the thinking component; we have less control over the feeling component and very little control over physiological phenomena. Behavior in its totality ultimately gives us control over all components. When we change what we are doing, we will notice that our thoughts, feelings, and physiological responses change as well. Returning to Glasser's (1984) narrative, we see that he deals with the disappointment of the failed exam by changing the doing and thinking components of behavior and, thus, the total behavior: I do not have to sit huddled in my chair depressing; I can, regardless of how I feel, call a friend and arrange a game of tennis. When we begin to play, I may still complain of how bad I feel, say I'm sorry I got him out on such a "bad" day, and, between games, tell him over and over how bad I feel and that, educationally, I'm doomed. I may not play my best, but I still can play. As I play, however, invariably I will notice that I begin to think different thoughts, feel different feelings, and experience a different physiology. My headaching or stomachaching clears up, my depressing seems to go away, and I start to think more about winning the match than failing the test. All of us have had experiences like this, and from them there is a very important lesson to be learned: Because we always have control over the doing component of our behavior, if we markedly change that component, we cannot avoid changing the thinking, feeling, and physiological components as well. The more we get involved in an active doing behavior that is markedly different from what we were doing when choosing a misery, like depressing or headaching, the more we will also change what we think, feel, and experience from our bodies. And if what we do gives us greater control, it will be accompanied by better feelings, more pleasant thoughts, and greater physical comfort. (p. 51, Control Theory, by William Glasser, MD) When I went into the test, the dominant picture in my head was of passing, but now all my senses are busy informing me of the bad news thatI flunked. Because I still want to pass, I will begin to generate some mostly sensible (at least to me) behaviors that I believe will help me to regain control of this unsatisfactory situation. In this case, what makes immediate sense to me to do is to go home, sit in my chair, drink a few beers, and avoid my classmates, most of whom I believe passed the examination. What I may think is sensible is to condemn myself for not studying hard enough, wish that I had passed, wonder what to do now, and hope it was all a mistake - a whole series of thoughts that are my immediate best attempts to both deal with and rationalize what happened. I will also generate a variety of feelings that also make good sense to me right now. Probably I'll be depressed, irritated, somewhat resentful, despondent, anxious, tense, and fearful - a whole series of emotions that seem to me appropriate to this failure. I also may be "suffering" from a headache or diarrhea, which added to what I am doing, thinking, and feeling, comprises my total behavior in this situation. (pp. 47-48, Control Theory, by William Glasser, MD) In most situations, people are more tuned in to their feelings than their actions, thoughts, or physiology. It is unlikely that an individual would mention all the components described in this passage if asked how he or she was doing after failing an examination; most likely the person would talk about the feeling component - being upset or depressed about the situation. When people are asked to talk about a complex situation, they tend to describe the most obvious or recognizable factor. Glasser (1984) says that most people are much more aware of one component of behavior than of others and, hence, tend to view it as a discrete behavior, not as part of a total behavior. By recognizing that the feeling component is just one of four that make up total behavior, people can be more in control of their lives. When people begin to think in terms of total behaviors, they can see that they choose these behaviors and have the option to change them. The most direct way to change a total behavior is to change the behavior's doing and thinking components. We have almost total control over the doing component of behavior and some control over the thinking component; we have less control over the feeling component and very little control over physiological phenomena. Behavior in its totality ultimately gives us control over all components. When we change what we are doing, we will notice that our thoughts, feelings, and physiological responses change as well. Returning to Glasser's (1984) narrative, we see that he deals with the disappointment of the failed exam by changing the doing and thinking components of behavior and, thus, the total behavior: I do not have to sit huddled in my chair depressing; I can, regardless of how I feel, call a friend and arrange a game of tennis. When we begin to play, I may still complain of how bad I feel, say I'm sorry I got him out on such a "bad" day, and, between games, tell him over and over how bad I feel and that, educationally, I'm doomed. I may not play my best, but I still can play. As I play, however, invariably I will notice that I begin to think different thoughts, feel different feelings, and experience a different physiology. My headaching or stomachaching clears up, my depressing seems to go away, and I start to think more about winning the match than failing the test. All of us have had experiences like this, and from them there is a very important lesson to be learned: Because we always have control over the doing component of our behavior, if we markedly change that component, we cannot avoid changing the thinking, feeling, and physiological components as well. The more we get involved in an active doing behavior that is markedly different from what we were doing when choosing a misery, like depressing or headaching, the more we will also change what we think, feel, and experience from our bodies. And if what we do gives us greater control, it will be accompanied by better feelings, more pleasant thoughts, and greater physical comfort. (p. 51, Control Theory, by William Glasser, MD) The message is that, because people always have control over the doing component of behavior, if they change that component, they cannot avoid changing the thinking, feeling, and physiological components as well. A choice of action that results in greater control will be accompanied by better feelings, more pleasant thoughts, and greater physical comfort. To get their needs met effectively, people must realize that they always have control over the doing component and can choose to do something more effective than being miserable.
PERSONAL QUALITY WORLD 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 Who are the most important people in your life? What are your most deeply held values? If you become the person you would ideally like to be, what traits or characteristics would you have? What is an accomplishment that you are really proud oc? If you could have the perfect job, what would that be? If you were independently wealthy, what would you do with your time? Describe a time in your life you would call a peak experience? What does it mean to be a friend? What brings a significant amount of meaning to your life? What, for you, make a house a home?

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